Vengeance can actually create an adverse reaction. Whether someone deserves it or not vengeance is a selfish act and can result in someone else falling victim to your wrath. “But, I’M the victim!” you shout. Well, let’s review this scenario, shall we?
The scenario: My supervisor enjoys walking back and forth to my desk a hundred times a day pretending to use a copier that’s always broken. I’ve caught him staring at me several times when he didn’t think I was looking and a host of other things that I don’t have enough space to mention. Finally, I’ve become so frustrated that I expressed the situation to the office authority and was told I was paranoid even though others had witnessed it.
Casualty of my wrath: I desperately wanted my supervisor to pay for making me miserable and started thinking of getting him back without it backfiring but each possible resolution would have put me in hot water except for one thing. Wait until I had a load of important files and then call out sick. I thought, “I still have sick days, don’t I?” But if I did that someone else would be responsible for my load. They’d be awfully miserable that they couldn’t finish their work, making them a casualty of my wrath. Not cool, is it?
Resolution: Instead of plotting my revenge, I decided to meditate more, calming my mind, which led to my focusing more on graduating to get a high-paying career, instead of a low-paying job. In the end, I passively got revenge by not giving him the satisfaction of slowly destroying me at work, but most importantly, no one else had to suffer for my actions. It’s still tough but it’s a work in progress.
Now Your turn: There are many ways to evade plotting vengeance. Here are three ideas:
– Express yourself to the person you are at odds with. Sometimes, people don’t realize the misery they are causing us.
– Be mindful of the people who might get caught in your crossfire. You might find that you’ll take a different route and still find relief
– Work on your emotions. Our emotions affect the way we respond to things and we can save ourselves, our rivals and the “victims” from unnecessary conflict.
Moral of the story: Sure, there are more severe cases than the abovementioned, but if we took the time, you’d be surprised that you really could find a way to make your life just a little or a lot easier. Don’t worry, at some point or another, good receives good and bad receives bad without you having anything to do with it.