Who am I?

I am that broken down vehicle slowly dragging you down Memory Lane, Anger Avenue, and Lonely Street, but I am also those luxurious wheels driving you confidently towards Lover’s lane, Avenue Hope, and Fearless Expressway.  I confuse you, make you believe your worth adds up to only the cent you started with and then I butter you up, tell you that you can ascend to the highest cloud.  I feed off your lack of confidence, rip your heart at the seams, cause you to fall so low you have to look up to see the bottom of the shoes I wear to dance all over your spirit, then I extend my hand through the cemented ground, pull you up by your reluctant hand, and lead you through the doors of “Faith”.  I wipe your tears away with the same rag I used to blind you from your true self.  I am that enemy which you fear.  I am the friend which you depend.  I have two hands:  One that suffocates you and one that revives you.  I am that rollercoaster of enthusiasm and the fear that paralyzes you.  I am the reason you struggle and the reason you prosper.  I whisper in your ears, telling you I am the only one you need because I am all that you know, but then I turn back around and tell you to finally let go of the pain and heal through faith, family, and friends.  I am the dread that hovers over you like a dark cloud, allowing you to give up on yourself, yet I am that fire that burns within you like a volcano erupting, causing your adrenalin to wander freely above mountains where you can’t stop succeeding until you take your last breath…and even then I will make your spirit flourish.  I have you believing in love and then make that same love hurt you, leading you to believe that it does not exist for you in any form or fashion.  But it does, and when you feel that you’ve lost, there really is more and more, but I’ve tricked you because you let me.  I lie to you, bring up your past and tell you that your past will ALWAYS be your future then I push you towards a bigger and brighter one.  You love to love me and love to hate me; but don’t hate me.  Understand I can be tamed if you truly want me to be.  First, you need to understand why I do these things and work towards balancing me out.  You have all the power necessary to do this.  Don’t you get it?  You can achieve anything, live the best life you were born to live, and smile an infinite smile.  But know this:  I WILL hurt you if you let me.  It is time to control me.  You are not a stranger that I am giving permission to.  You know me quite well.  After all….I am your EMOTIONS.

-Tamika S. Thomas 10/28/14

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